Experience Summary
I carry diplomas (and who really cares?) from Northern Illinois University in both Political Philosophy and English Literature, yada-yada-yada, and so on and so forth, etcetera, etcetera (graduated 2006). I have written two full-length novels that your children, most likely, will someday be required to read by some god-forsaken English teacher who does not believe in 'fun'. I could, of course, sit here, all day, listing all the reasons why you, or your child, should choose 'me' to guide them through life, and if not through life, then, at the very least, through whichever course they will most likely fail otherwise. Furthermore, and in spite of the fact that I do not understand this most bothersome phenomenon, children instinctively enjoy my company, which is ironic, because I try my hardest to keep them away from my physical person at all times. I know, also, that 'applicants', or whatever we are, are supposed to hit here and speak highly of ourselves, listing all of our accomplishments, our 'knack' for 'leadership', our positive outlook on life and the world writ large, but, such would be a waste of time and the imposition of untruths for the sake of earning a dollar, or whatever currency you plan to deposit with unyielding graditude into the pocket of my highly fashionable, grossly over-priced designer jeans. In sum, if you would like your child to not become the person he or she is going to become--someone without a grasp of the principles of punctuation, grammar, sentence composition...a soul--then, go-ahead, drop me a line. If not, well--suffer...
Teaching Style
The prompt for this box (TEACHING STYLE) is ascinine in and of itself: tutoring-style is what it should read. And, please, forgive me, but either a tutor achieves results or a tutor does not.
My Hobbies
I read, write, play golf (which my girlfriends hate, but I do anyways, as often as possible, if not for the love of the game then for the purpose of pissing them off), and avoid other humans at all cost. I also walk my dog, whch is an exercise in frustration because he thinks a stroll around the block is the grand tour of the goddamned botannical gardens.
Other Comments
I am currently contemplating--imagining, rather--the words by which other hopeful, or, conversely, hopeless, applicants fill this space. "I love," he or she says, "the city in the summer, spending time with friends and family, a good romantic novel with chardonnay (if female; bourbon, if male), and of course, and most superlatively important, helping people; i'm a people-person, people!" sure--these are the people to whom you are prepared to entrust the future of your child's education. coincidentally, the captain of the titanic also fancied himself a people person...